Chris and Robin Go Into The Wild

Chris and Robin Go Into The Wild

Charles B. French

This is a series of scripts I wrote for a children’s camp. The theme was going into ‘The Wild,’ that unknown place God sends us when we get ‘The Call.’ Each script focused on a different person in the Bible who got a ‘call’ from God. The scenes are meant to be light and funny, with a little bit of Bible teaching and a lot of energy and fun.

Characters – they can be male or female.

Chris: Chris is the responsible one, very straight-laced and wants to do everything by the book.

Robin: Robin is prone to flights-of-fancy and can get very silly but has a good heart. Robin and Chris are often bickering.

Part I – Jonah’s Call

Chris walks onstage and waves to the audience.

Chris: Hello everyone. I’m Chris and this is (He looks behind him and sees no one) I said, this is (Again, he looks back to see no one). Robin, get out here. (Still no one appears) Well, it looks like I’m here on my own. Great, you plan this thing for weeks and then when it’s time to actually get up and do it, half the show isn’t here. I mean, I can’t imagine how this could get any more awkward.

Robin rushes onstage, possibly through the audience. Robin is wearing a thick pair of glasses and a superhero style cape. Robin gets onstage and strikes a superhero pose.

Robin: Welcome to Superheroes on Ice.

Chris: There are so many things wrong with that sentence.

Robin: What’s gotten into you?

Chris: Superheroes on Ice? Really?

Robin: I thought it would be a fun treat, us in costumes skating around.

Chris: Do you even know how to ice skate?

Robin: Of course. You move your arms like this. (He flails his arms wildly) And then you fall down a lot.

Chris: I don’t think that’s right.

Robin: That’s how I do it.

Chris: This isn’t even an ice rink.

Robin: Are you sure?

Chris: Do you see any ice?

Robin: Well, maybe it’s that ice-less ice skating that they’re all talking about.

Chris: No one’s talking about that.

Robin: Why not?

Chris: Because you just made it up.

Robin: I am so applying for a patent.

Chris: And what’s with this outfit?

Robin: I’m a superhero.

Chris: You’re wearing a cape and glasses.

Robin: I didn’t know it was either or.

Chris: Of course it’s either-or. You either wear the glasses or the cape.

Robin: I can’t do both?

Chris: No.

Robin: Are you sure?

Chris: What’s the point of a superhero wearing glasses?

Robin: So he can see where he’s flying. Just ask Superman.

Chris: Superman wears glasses?

Robin: They go with the giant ‘S’ on his chest.

Chris: The ‘S’ on his chest?

Robin: (pointing to his glasses) Specs.

Chris: Glasses are a part of a hero’s secret identity. Clark Kent wears glasses so no one knows he’s Superman. And then when it’s time to save the day…

Robin: He puts in his contacts.

Chris: No, he takes off the glasses and puts on the cape and the blue and red tights.

Robin: Where does he keep his keys?

Chris: I have no idea. The point is that if you’re wearing glasses, you can’t have the cape on.

Robin: What do I do with it?

Chris: You wear the cape under your clothes, with the costume.

Robin: Are you crazy? Do you know how hot that would be? I’d be sweating right through my costume, and super-villains aren’t impressed with pit stains.

Chris: That’s why super-heroes only exist in comic books. And every other movie that came out this summer.

Robin: So I shouldn’t wear the cape?

Chris: You do look silly.

Robin: What about a giant hammer?

Chris: No.

Robin: A big shield I can hurl at my enemies?

Chris: No.

Robin: A glowing, green ring?

Chris: No.

Robin: A purple helmet?

Chris: No. You just have to be yourself.

Robin: Fine, I’ll take off the cape. There wouldn’t happen to be a phone booth nearby?

Chris: They still make those?

Robin: How does Superman change into his costume these days?

Chris: I think there’s an app for that.

Robin: (removing the cape and glasses) I guess I’ll just have to be myself.

Chris: What’s wrong with that? Most everyone’s themselves. It’s a perfectly fine thing to be.

Robin: I just thought wearing the costume would make me feel better.

Chris: About what?

Robin: Well, to be honest, I’m a little scared.

Chris: A little?

Robin: Okay, a lot.

Chris: A lot?

Robin: (throws his arms around Chris) Hold me!

Chris: I’m right here for you, Robin. (He pulls himself away from Robin.) What’s going on?

Robin: Have you heard where we’re headed?

Chris: Where?

Robin: The Wild. They’re sending us into The Wild.

Chris: Who’s they?

Robin: I don’t know, but that’s who’s sending us. (dramatic whisper) They could be watching us right now.

Chris: Of course they’re watching us.

Robin: They are?

Chris: That’s the audience.

Robin: (sees the audience and waves nervously) Oh, hi. (turns back to Chris) They’re the ones sending us into The Wild?

Chris: No, they’re coming with us. We’re all going into The Wild together.

Robin: Wait. They’re coming with us?

Chris: Yes.

Robin: To The Wild?

Chris: Yes.

Robin: Do they know how dangerous that is? It’s The Wild.

Chris: Do you even know what The Wild is?

Robin: No, but it sounds scary and I don’t want to go. (tries to jump onto Chris’s arms again)

Chris: So you’re not going with us?

Robin: No, and you can’t make me.

Chris: I’m not the one who wants you to go to The Wild.

Robin: Who would want to make me go into that great unknown?

Chris: Someone very powerful and all knowing, who wants to take everyone here on a fantastic journey.

Robin: Oprah?

Chris: Someone even more powerful than Oprah. God.

Robin: Why does God want me to go into The Wild?

Chris: That’s the thing about God. You often don’t know why you are on the journey until you make it.

Robin: I think I’m going to pass.

Chris: You’re going to pass on God’s plan for you?

Robin: What’s the worst that could happen?

Chris: That’s what Jonah said.

Robin: Who’s Jonah?

Chris: Jonah was a Prophet. His story appears in the Bible, in the book of Jonah.

Robin: So he was kind of a big deal.

Chris: Jonah was a prophet of the Lord. So yea, that’s kind of a big deal.

Robin: Then why hasn’t there been a movie about him?

Chris: There have been plenty of movies about Jonah. One of them starred talking vegetables.

Robin: That is a big deal.

Chris: Which is why I want you to hear this story. Jonah was a Prophet of the Lord. Do you know what that is?

Robin: Someone who’s really good at picking lottery numbers?

Chris: No. A prophet was someone who God used to send messages.

Robin: What kind of messages?

Chris: God wanted everyone to know that He loved them, and that’s why he’d send a prophet around, to tell everyone that they were loved by God.

Robin: How sweet!

Chris: I know, right? But because God loved everyone so much, he didn’t like it when they sinned and did bad things.

Robin: Because God’s a party-pooper?

Chris: No, because God knew that those bad things would lead to trouble. And sometimes, if you did enough bad things, you would die. Do you think God wanted that?

Robin: No?

Chris: Exactly. God wants the best for us, and that’s why he’d send a prophet, to keep people out of trouble. One day, he decided to send Jonah to Nineveh. But Jonah was scared to go.

Robin: Why? How bad could a place called Nineveh be?

Chris: Think of every kind of bad person your parents warned you about.

Robin: Got it.

Chris: Even they wouldn’t want to go to Nineveh.

Robin: That’s pretty bad.

Chris: But God loved them just the same, so He told Jonah to head straight there and tell everyone in Nineveh that they were in big trouble. If they didn’t stop doing bad stuff, something terrible was going to happen.

Robin: Let me guess. Jonah knew that God was on his side and bravely charged into Nineveh, as a brave example to us all.

Chris: No. He ran away.

Robin: Oh.

Chris: Jonah got on the fastest ship he could find and sailed in the opposite direction. But then a big storm came and was about to sink the ship.

Robin: I guess it couldn’t get any worse for Jonah.

Chris: You guess wrong. The sailors discovered that Jonah was running from God, and that God must have sent the storm.

Robin: I’m sure they acted with logic and reason.

Chris: They threw Jonah overboard.

Robin: And now it couldn’t get any worse.

Chris: Then Jonah was swallowed by a giant fish.

Robin: Oh, come on!

Chris: That’s how the story goes. Jonah was in that fish for three days, but he didn’t die. On the third day, that fish swam to a beach and spat Jonah out.

Robin: Might as well. I’m sure Jonah was just empty calories.

Chris: And that’s when Jonah saw that the fish had taken him all the way to Nineveh, where God had called him in the first place. He realized that God’s message must be really important, so he headed into Nineveh to tell them about God.

Robin: I’m sure the people of Nineveh were so excited to hear from a guy who smelled like he’d been in a fish for three days.

Chris: So Jonah went right into town and told everyone that God loved them, but they needed to change their ways or bad things were going to happen.

Robin: Let me guess. (being sarcastic) When the people of Nineveh heard that from the guy who stank of fish, they immediately changed their ways and disaster was averted.

Chris: Pretty much.

Robin: (amazed) Really?

Chris: Really. God knew that if the people of Nineveh heard that He loved them, they’d change their ways.

Robin: Just like that?

Chris: Just like that.

Robin: So Jonah ran for nothing.

Chris: Jonah forgot that God was always with him. Yes, God was sending him someplace scary and wild, but God was going to go with him. Even in the storm and the belly of the fish, God was with Jonah.

Robin: I see a moral that applies to me coming up.

Chris: You don’t need your glasses to see that. I know heading into The Wild is scary, but God is with us. He gives us the strength to be brave, and sometimes it’s not as scary as we think.

Robin: So I don’t have to be afraid of going into The Wild?

Chris: God will be with you every step of the way.

Robin: Can I still wear my cape?

Chris: Sure.

Robin: (Robin puts on the cape.) All right everyone, it looks like we’re heading into The Wild. Let’s go.

Robin runs offstage with a cape flourish.

Chris: Why did I let him wear the cape? Until next time everyone.

Chris follows after Robin.

Part II – Noah’s Call

Chris walks onstage.

Chris: Hello everyone. Wasn’t that first day fun? (pause for them to respond) I don’t know, it didn’t sound like you all had fun. Let me try again. Wasn’t that first day fun? (let the crowd respond) Does anyone remember what we covered?

Robin runs onstage. Robin is wearing a gaudy, possibly sequined outfit a few decades out of date. Something from the Disco era would also work.

Robin: I know what we covered!

Chris: What’s going on, Robin?

Robin: Chris, I’m here to tell them what happened on the first day.

Chris: Wearing that?

Robin: Unlike some people, I have a sense of fashion, thank you very much.

Chris: This is too much for me to deal with.

Robin: Which is clearly why you need me. Where would you be without me?

Chris: Living the dream.

Robin: You’d be up to your eyeballs in trouble, possibly your eyebrows. That’s why I have returned, because we need a recap and I’m the one to give it.

Chris: Very well, my dapper friend. What did we learn yesterday?

Robin: We learned about someone special.

Chris: We did.

Robin: Her name was Mona.

Chris: His name was Jonah. He was a prophet.

Robin: And he always did as he was told.

Chris: He ran from God and was eaten by a fish.

Robin: And they dipped him in batter and served him with a side of fries.

Chris: The fish spat him up and he told the people of Nineveh that God loved them. He was afraid, but didn’t need to be because God was on his side.

Robin: And aren’t you glad I was here to help you remember?

Chris: Would it be possible for you to be on time for once?

Robin: Chris, looking this good takes time, and I think we can all agree that I’m worth it. (tosses hair).

Chris: Okay, Robin, I’ve got to ask. What’s going on with all this?

Robin: I’m here in my groovy threads because I have a fever.

Chris: That would explain a few things.

Robin: Exactly, and you might have it too.

Chris: You’re communicable?

Robin: I’ve got a severe case of Dance Fever, and I need to let it out!

Chris: You’ve got dance fever?

Robin: Afraid so, and my soul demands I boogie!

Robin starts to dance onstage, the wilder, the better.

Chris: What dance is that exactly?

Robin: (stops dancing for a moment) Dances have names?

Chris: Of course. That way you know which one you’re doing?

Robin: Well how many of them are there?

Chris: There’s the jitterbug, the fox trot, the waltz, the hustle, the running man, cabbage patch, electric slide, the twist, the Charleston, the Moonwalk…

Robin: Who comes up with these names?

Chris: I have no idea.

Robin: Then I should have a dance of my own. We could call it the ‘Rockin’ Robin.’

Robin dances.

Chris: They already have that.

Robin stops dancing.

Robin: Really?

Chris: It’s a very famous song. Michael Jackson sang it.

Robin: Still, I think I should have a dance. How about I create a dance that involves you wearing a hoodie? I could call it the Robin Hood.

Robin dances again.

Chris: That name is also taken.

Robin stops dancing.

Robin: Someone already has Robin Hood?

Chris: He robbed from the rich and gave to the poor.

Robin: Now I’ll never have a dance.

Chris: You don’t need a dance named after you. But you could still dance.

Robin: That’s true, and I might as well dance as much as I can. Because I just know that before long, there will be no more dancing. Ever. At all.

Chris: What do you mean no more dancing?

Robin: That’s just what I mean. There will be no more dancing ever.

Chris: Why?

Robin: Because we’re going into The Wild.

Chris: Yes, that’s where we’re going.

Robin: And there’s no dancing in The Wild.

Chris: Who told you that?

Robin: I just know it. When God calls you into The Wild, that’s it, fun’s over, and it’s never, ever going to be good again. Ever.

Chris: You know, you are right that sometimes God calls us to do very hard things when we go into The Wild.

Robin: Of course I’m right.

Chris: Take Noah.

Robin: Take him where?

Chris: No, I mean, consider the story of Noah from the Bible. God called Noah to do something scary. He called Noah to build an ark.

Robin: What’s an ark?

Chris: It’s a big boat.

Robin: What’s a boat?

Chris: It’s a vehicle used for traveling on water.

Robin: What’s the Capital of Montana?

Chris: Helena.

Robin: You’re good.

Chris: God told Noah that he was going to make it rain for forty days and forty nights and flood the world.

Robin: That sounds bad for property values.

Chris: That’s why God told Noah to build the ark. Noah was a righteous man, and God wanted to save Noah and his family from the flood.

Robin: That’s nice of him. How long did it take him to build that ark?

Chris: It probably took a long time. Maybe years.

Robin: So Noah knew years in advance that it was going to rain?

Chris: Yes.

Robin: And yet the weatherman can’t get a simple three day forecast right!

Chris: Only God knows when it’s going to rain, but before it rained, God told Noah to gather up all the animals, two by two.

Robin: Why?

Chris: So they wouldn’t drown. You can’t rebuild civilization without animals.

Robin: Wait, so civilization was going to be wiped out?

Chris: Big time.

Robin: And Noah knew this?

Chris: God told him so.

Robin: Then why did he even bother building the ark? If everything was wiped out, there would be nothing left, no joy, and certainly no dancing.

Chris: Really? You think that there was no hope?

Robin: The flood was coming! Abandon all hope, friends. That’s it. We’re doomed! Dance while you can.

Robin starts to dance furiously.

Chris: So you think that when God calls us to do something hard and scary, we will never have another joyful moment?

Robin stops dancing.

Robin: Pretty much.

Chris: Then I need to tell you the rest of the story. Noah loaded his family and the animals onto the ark.

Robin: Wait, so Noah took all the animals?

Chris: That’s what God told him to do.

Robin: So, if any animal wasn’t on the ark, it was wiped out?

Chris: Pretty much.

Robin: Then why did he bring mosquitoes? Seriously, he couldn’t leave them behind? This was his once change to get rid of those flying pests and he just brought them on board?

Chris: The Bible doesn’t say why. It does say that Noah, his sons Shem, Ham, and Japeth, their families, and the animals were on the ark and then God made it rain for forty days.

Robin: Forty days? And I thought long car trips with my family were rough.

Chris: How do you mean?

Robin: All his kids are like, “He’s on my side of the ark,” and “Shem won’t stop touching me,” and “Why did you name me Ham?” Plus, you’ve got a whole lot of animals.

Chris: How is that bad?

Robin: Someone’s got to clean up after them, because you know it had to stink in there something fierce.

Chris: Again, the Bible doesn’t say, but it does say that after forty days the rain stopped and they began to look for dry land.

Robin: And his kids are all asking ‘Are we there yet?’ ‘Are we there yet?’ ‘How about now?’

Chris: Eventually the flood waters receded and the ark set down on a mountain. Noah released all the animals and he and his family started to rebuild the world.

Robin: And it goes from bad to worse. How could anyone be happy, knowing that at any moment God could just wipe everyone out again? This is why I don’t want to go into The Wild. All it leads to is disaster.

Chris: Robin, yes, travel by ark wasn’t fun, but when Noah made it through things got so much better.

Robin: How?

Chris: For starters, God sent Noah a rainbow. He told Noah that this rainbow was a promise that God would never send another flood like that again.

Robin: Okay, so there’s rainbows.

Chris: Not only rainbows, but God helped Noah and his children and their families rebuild civilization. Before long, there was a bunch of happy children running around, there was music, and of course, dancing.

Robin: Dancing?

Chris: Dancing. All through the Bible, whenever people were happy, they would dance. And today, many, many years later, we haven’t stopped dancing. We keep right on dancing.

Robin: So going into The Wild doesn’t mean I’ll never dance again?

Chris: Not at all. Yes, sometimes God calls us to do very hard things, and it can be unpleasant and stinky. But do you know why God calls us to do the hard things?

Robin: Why?

Chris: Because sometimes those hard things help everyone. When Noah built the ark, he saved his family, the animals, and the entire human race. Going into The Wild can be very important, and that’s why God wants us to go.

Robin: So I shouldn’t be afraid of The Wild?

Chris: No. God was with Jonah. God was with Noah. And God will be with you.

Robin: And God wants me to dance?

Chris: God wants you to dance for Him. He wants you to dance and be joyful.

Robin: Dance for Him?

Chris: Yes.

Robin: Okay, I think I will.

Chris: Good.

Robin: And you will dance too.

Chris: (shocked) Wait, what?

Robin: Come on, you have to dance with me. Don’t you all want to see Chris dance? (Robin gets the audience to cheer.)

Chris: (giving in) Fine. What are we going to do?

Robin: We’re going to do an interpretive dance about Noah. First, we’ll be Noah building the ark.

Robin dances and acts out building. Chris reluctantly joins in.

Robin: Now we have to be the animals.

Robin and Chris dance and act out being different animals. They could be elephants, giraffes, lions, hippos, or even mosquitoes. This might be a bit ad-libbed, so be free and creative.

Robin: Now we dance as the rain comes down.

Robin and Chris dance as the rain.

Robin: And finally, we dance away from the ark because we made it.

Robin starts to dance offstage and then turns back to Chris.

Robin: Well?

Chris: Fine.

Chris starts to dance.

Chris: Join us again tomorrow when I’m sure Robin will find new ways to embarrass me.

Robin: Come on Chris, learn to surrender to the dance. Really feel the groove.

Chris: I’m feeling something.

Robin and Chris dance offstage.

Part III – Esther’s Call

Chris enters and looks around.

Chris: Hi everyone. As usual, Robin isn’t here yet. But don’t worry you have me. Good, old, dependable Chris.

Robin strolls in through the audience. Robin is decked out in gold chains and other trinkets of success, to the point of ridiculousness. Robin is also wearing ridiculous sunglasses, the oversized novelty type if possible. As Robin walks through the crowd, he greets everyone.

Robin: How you doing? Good to see you. Thanks for coming out. You’ve been a great audience. We’ll do lunch. Call me. Have my people talk to your people. (Robin continues this patter until reaching the stage.)

Chris: Robin, just what are you doing?

Robin: It’s called making an entrance.

Chris: That’s what I did, only I was on time.

Robin: Yes, but you lacked showmanship and a sense of panache. You just got out there. I, however, truly entered the room.

Chris: Late.

Robin: Fashionably. I had to make sure my people were assembled and ready for me.

Chris: Your people?

Robin: These people. The fans. My adoring public.

Chris: You have an adoring public?

Robin: Yes, dear Chris, yes. I have come to know fame, and it has come to know me.

Chris: You’re famous?

Robin: Oh, yes.

Chris: For what?

Robin: Excuse me?

Chris: What exactly are you famous for?

Robin: You mean you haven’t heard?

Chris: Nope.

Robin: I can’t believe it. It’s so refreshing to meet someone who doesn’t know me.

Chris: Oh, I know you. I just don’t know why anyone else does.

Robin: It all started yesterday with my dancing.

Chris: Yes, I remember that.

Robin: Well, as you know, my dancing was fabulous.

Chris: It was something all right.

Robin: I mean, when I was dancing, I felt the story of Noah. I felt the fear of knowing that the world was going to get flooded, the hardship he must have faced building the ark, and how hard it was to take his family and those animals into The Wild.

Chris: It was an amazing story.

Robin: And then, at the end, when he saw the rainbow. Joy, Chris, pure joy. And I had to dance. And so I danced and danced. And did you know what happened?

Chris: I’m on pins and needles.

Robin: The people. The people saw me dance and loved me.

Chris: What people.

Robin: You know, the people. The people who see things and say that it’s good. Well, they saw me and said…do you know what they said?

Chris: They liked your dancing?

Robin: They liked my dancing! And I know that they told other people how much they liked it.

Chris: You’ve gone viral.

Robin: I am a sensation.

Chris: So what’s with the getup?

Robin: This is no getup. This is what my public expects.

Chris: They expect you to look ridiculous?

Robin: I happen to be fashion forward. For someone like myself, here at the cutting edge, I’m not going to conform to the norm; I’m going to be a trendsetter. You just watch, pretty soon, everyone will be dressing like this.

Chris: Sounds like you can’t wait for people to dress like you.

Robin: Are you kidding, that’s my worst nightmare!

Chris: How is that a nightmare?

Robin: Because then I have to come up with something else. And then something else. It took me forever to get this crazy getup. I don’t know if I can do it again.

Chris: So, what, being popular isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Robin: You just don’t get the pressure. I thought facing The Wild was tough enough. Now I have to deal with everyone knowing my name.

Chris: So you’re scared of your popularity?

Robin: People don’t realize what kind of responsibility it is. But do you know what could be even worse?

Chris: You become a Youtube sensation for all the wrong reasons?

Robin: No, I could work with that. What happens if I lose my popularity?

Chris: You mean there’s a possibility that you might become one of us lowly mortals again?

Robin: I know. I could lose everything. I make the wrong move and it’s over.

Chris: Well what could possibly take your fame away?

Robin: Going into The Wild. People see me doing that instead of dancing, well, they might not like me anymore. Suddenly I’m unpopular.

Chris: You aren’t the only one who felt like that. Have you heard of Esther?

Robin: Is she on tour with Lady Gaga?

Chris: Esther was a woman in the Bible. In fact, there’s a book named after her.

Robin: Let me guess…Deuteronomy!

Chris: No, the book is called Esther.

Robin: Well that’s a bit obvious, don’t you think?

Chris: Like you, Esther was famous.

Robin: Was she good at busting moves?

Chris: She was a queen.

Robin: A dancing queen?

Chris: No, the regular kind. She was the fairest maiden in the land and the king, Xerxes, wanted her to be his queen.

Robin: That’s great.

Chris: She thought so. After all, how awesome is it to be queen.

Robin: I bet she was super famous. She must have had, like, a million Facebook friends.

Chris: Well, the internet hadn’t been invented back then, but she was a big deal. Everyone really did want to be her friend. Esther loved being queen, she loved everyone bowing to her, and she loved living in the palace.

Robin: So it worked out well for her. Unlike me. My life is miserable, hers was great. Thanks for rubbing it in.

Chris: Actually, you and Esther had a lot in common, because as it turns out, she was in a predicament. She had to go into The Wild.

Robin: Why would a queen go into The Wild? The only place she has to go is the throne room.

Chris: Exactly. For her, that was The Wild.

Robin: I’m confused.

Chris: I thought you might be, let me explain.

Robin: Please do.

Chris: Esther lived way back in Old Testament times. She was Jewish and lived with her people in the land ruled by Xerxes. But not everyone liked them living there.

Robin: They didn’t like their new neighbors?

Chris: They did not. And the one who really didn’t like them was a man named Haman. He wanted to kill all of Esther’s people.

Robin: That’s not good.

Chris: Genocide never is. Fortunately, a man named Mordecai found out about it. He had raised Esther after her parents had died, and he went to see her.

Robin: Well there you go, you tell the queen about the plan to kill everyone and it all works out.

Chris: Not quite. You see, what he was asking her to do was go into The Wild. She was going to risk everything, her popularity, her crown, and most importantly, her life.

Robin: What was she going to do? Lead a rebellion? Take on the Death Star?

Chris: No, she was going to walk into the throne room.

Robin: That’s it? How is that scary?

Chris: Let me finish. Xerxes the king was in charge, and no one entered his throne room without permission. If you did, he’d have you killed instantly no matter who you were.

Robin: Even the queen?

Chris: Especially the queen.

Robin: Harsh.

Chris: But, if the king was happy to see you, he would extend his royal scepter. And that meant that you were allowed to be there.

Robin: And you wouldn’t die?

Chris: Not at all. Of course, the king hadn’t sent for Esther to join him in the throne room. She had to go uninvited. She was risking everything.

Robin: What did she do? Was she scared? Did she risk her fame and fortune to save everyone?

Chris: She told Mordecai that she was going to see the king. ‘And if I perish, I perish.’

Robin: Wow. What happened next?

Chris: She walked right into the throne room. She may have been afraid. She may have trusted that God would see her through. Perhaps both.

Robin: And Xerxes?

Chris: He saw his queen, and he extended the scepter so that she would live.

Robin: That’s a relief.

Chris: You got that right. Esther talked to the King and saved her people.

Robin: And what happened to Haman?

Chris: Let’s just say things did not end well for him.

Robin: That’s a great story.

Chris: That’s why I told it.

Robin: But now what do I do?

Chris: Well, if you have the chance to stop a genocide, I’d recommend you go ahead and do so.

Robin: I mean, what do I do about my fame? Here I am on the cutting edge of fashion and dance, and I’m afraid of losing it.

Chris: That’s possible. But you know what, sometimes braving The Wild is more important than everyone liking you. When it’s important, when you might help people, giving up your popularity could be a small price to pay.

Robin: Well, if Esther could risk it, so can I.

Chris: Good for you. And until that horrible day in which you lose your fame, you should enjoy it.

Robin: I think I will. How should I do it?

Chris: Well, let’s see what made you so popular. What kind of new dance moves do you have so far?

Robin: First, I have the Jonah.

Music plays and Robin does a Jonah themed dance, perhaps pantomiming getting swallowed by the whale.

Chris: All right. I’m pretty sure that one is not going to catch on, but I’ve seen worse.

Robin: Just wait, then we have the Noah.

Robin does a dance about it raining or building the ark.

Chris: Well, that’s something.

Robin: But now the story of Esther being brave has inspired me. So my next dance will be the Esther.

Robin does a dance about approaching the throne room, then stopping, then approaching, then stopping, until finally being brave and going in.

Chris: That’s impressive.

The music stops.

Robin: I know, right. I told you I was an awesome dancer.

Chris: Truly, you are light on your feet.

Robin: Well, I’m not popular for nothing.

Chris: But are you willing to hold onto it instead of going into The Wild?

Robin: You know what? I don’t think I’m afraid of going into The Wild anymore. I know that God will be with me, and I know that God will use it for good. And if I’m not famous, I’m not famous.

Chris: Nice to know you see the big picture.

Robin: I see all the pictures. Big. Little. Panoramic. I see it all.

Chris: Good to know.

Robin: Now if you’ll excuse me, I feel another dance coming on. Care to join me?

Chris: Why not? See you all tomorrow!

The music plays and Chris and Robin dance offstage.

Part IV – Peter’s Call

Chris enters and looks around.

Chris: As usual, I’m here first. You’d think after three days Robin would know when it’s time to come on. I guess Robin just can’t tell time.

Robin: (calling offstage) I can too!

Chris: Robin?

Robin: (calling offstage) What?

Chris: Are you here?

Robin: (calling offstage) Yes!

Chris: Well where are you?

Robin: (calling offstage) Stuck!

Chris: In what?

Robin: (calling offstage) A net!

Chris: Someone caught you in a net?

Robin: (calling offstage) I caught me in a net and I can’t get out!

Chris: Well come on out here.

Robin: (calling offstage) I’m still stuck.

Chris: I’ll help you out.

Robin comes onstage. He is wearing an explorer’s outfit, and is trapped in a large butterfly net.

Chris: How did that happen?

Robin: I was practicing for being out in The Wild, and I got myself stuck.

Chris: What were you practicing, exactly?

Robin: I was trying to catch a butterfly, and wouldn’t you know it, that little bug outsmarted me, and I know it’s out there laughing at me.

Chris: I don’t think butterflies laugh.

Robin: Do they tweet? I just know I’m the subject of its 140 character status update.

Chris: Do butterflies get Wi-Fi?

Robin: I’m pretty sure ants do. How else do they know where you keep your sandwiches?

Chris: They use trails that only they can see. You really should get to know these insects, they’re very fascinating.

Robin: I suppose I have all the time in the world to read about them now that I’m trapped forever in this net.

Chris: You’re not trapped forever. Here, let me help you.

Chris helps Robin free himself from the net.

Robin: Thanks. If I was in there any longer, they’d be making an inspirational movie about me.

Chris: Really? They’d make a movie about an explorer trapped in a net?

Robin: I don’t see why not. I’m very compelling.

Chris: You’re also dressed the most normal I’ve seen you, yet.

Robin: Of course. This is the day we’re going to head out into The Wild, and I wanted to be ready.

Chris: Ready for what?

Robin: Ready for anything. You never know what could be out there. I mean, just look at what happened to everyone we talked about this week.

Chris: I sense a recap coming up.

Robin: First, we had Jonah. And do you remember what happened to him? He got swallowed by a big fish.

Chris: Now there’s a story worth making a movie about.

Robin: I learned that even though God might send us somewhere scary, even The Wild, he is with us. What’s so scary about that?

Chris: Well, getting eaten by a giant fish might be a bit scary.

Robin: Not when God is on your side. Then I heard about Noah, and he was told to build an ark because it was about to flood.

Chris: (getting a bit nervous) I never did like the rain.

Robin: And not just rain. Floods that would wash away all of civilization. Oh, the humanity! But God had a plan, and Noah was able to save his family and the animals and survived his own time in The Wild.

Chris: (a bit more nervous) I’d be all right with The Wild if it didn’t flood so much. That kind of makes me a bit nervous, to be honest.

Robin: It’s just epic floodwaters. Why would that make you nervous? Then yesterday we learned about Esther.

Chris: That’s right. Nothing swallowing her. No epic floods.

Robin: Nope. Just the threat of certain death for taking the wrong step.

Chris: I’d forgotten about that part. Are you sure that was part of the story?

Robin: Of course I’m sure. You were the one who told it.

Chris: Right, right.

Robin: How could you forget the tale of Esther? She had to stop a plot to kill her people, but if the king didn’t want to see her, she’d be killed.

Chris: I don’t know if I like that story.

Robin: What’s wrong?

Chris: What’s wrong? Today’s the day we set out for The Wild!

Robin: I know. Isn’t it exciting?

Chris: Exciting? Do you know what’s out there? Giant fish! Killer floods! Certain death! Is that a place you want to go?

Robin: Wait. All this week I’ve been hearing stories about going out into The Wild. About going out and facing our fears. About overcoming all odds knowing that God was on our side. And now you’re the one who’s afraid?

Chris: Pretty much. I just know I can’t measure up. I can’t face these things.

Robin: Yes, you can, Chris. You can face anything.

Chris: Well, I can face it as long a I’m safe in here. But what happens when I have to go out there? I’ll be all alone. Who will be with me then?

Robin: You really think you’ll be all alone? What about God?

Chris: He’s the one pushing me out into The Wild.

Robin: No, he’s the one calling you to him. He’s already in The Wild and He wants you to join Him.

Chris: (stunned) When did you get so wise?

Robin: What, you think all I do is dress up in goofy outfits and dance?

Chris: You sometimes get caught up in your own net.

Robin: That only happened once. Today. Anyway, I’ve been reading the Bible ever since you started telling stories from it, and I found one I really liked.

Chris: You are going to tell me a story?

Robin: I know, right? Who’d have seen that coming? This story is about Peter, and he was a guy who hung around with Jesus. He was one of twelve dudes who were part of Jesus’ posse.

Chris: Apostles.

Robin: Isn’t that what I said?

Chris: No, you said…never mind. Peter was an apostle. What happened next?

Robin: Okay, so this guy Peter is in a boat with everyone else. They were sailing somewhere, maybe going to do some fishing. Maybe one of them was waterskiing behind them.

Chris: I assure you, no one was waterskiing.

Robin: They were sailing along and then suddenly, they see a ghost on the water. And they’re like, ‘Oh, no! A Ghost!’

Chris: They said that?

Robin: It’s what I would have said. Except that it wasn’t a ghost. It was Jesus. And he was walking on the water. Just walking. Taking a casual stroll. On top of the water.

Chris: That is amazing.

Robin: Now, I may not be the best student of Physics, but I’m pretty sure that water does not have the kind of surface tension to support the weight of a person walking on it.

Chris: It does not.

Robin: Exactly, which is why Jesus walking on the water was so amazing. It had to do with him being the Son of God. So then Peter sees him and asks, ‘Jesus, is that you?’

Chris: Who else was it going to be?

Robin: I know, right? But Peter asked and Jesus said, ‘It’s me, Jesus.’

Chris: That settles it.

Robin: But this is when it gets interesting. Peter then tells Jesus, ‘Hey Jesus, if it’s really you, let me join you out on the water.’

Chris: He didn’t.

Robin: Oh, he did. Peter was crazy.

Chris: What did Jesus say?

Robin: ‘Step out of the boat.’

Chris: And what did Peter do?

Robin: He stepped out of the boat.

Chris: And then he sank.

Robin: No. He was walking on the water with Jesus. How cool is that? Jesus called him out, and Peter walked on the water.

Chris: I don’t know; that had to have been scary.

Robin: It was; it totally was. Because soon, Peter starts to freak out. And when he does, he starts sinking.

Chris: Well there you go. Jesus called Peter out into The Wild, and then Peter started off well and then he just sank to the bottom of the sea.

Robin: No, he just started to sink. He didn’t finish. When he looked at Jesus, he had faith again and rose back out on top of the water. Then the two of them walked back to the boat.

Chris: So now I assume there’s a lesson in all this.

Robin: Why wouldn’t there be?

Chris: That’s true, we are slaves to routine.

Robin: So don’t you see? Jesus didn’t push Peter out of the boat, He called Peter. Jesus was already in the water, so Peter wasn’t leaving Jesus, he was going to Him?

Chris: But why did he have to be all the way out in water? Why couldn’t he have been on a sidewalk?

Robin: It’s not exactly an impressive story for two people to walk on a sidewalk.

Chris: I see your point.

Robin: There’s nothing to be scared of, not really. Just because there’s trouble out there doesn’t mean we should go out there ourselves.

Chris: But what if I start sinking? Or get caught in a flood? Or swallowed by a giant fish?

Robin: Or caught in a net?

Chris: That too. Can you promise that nothing bad will happen?

Robin: Of course not, what a silly thing to promise. Even God doesn’t promise that nothing bad will ever happen to us.

Chris: Then what’s the point of these stories?

Robin: The point is that when bad things happen, God is there with us helping us through. God gives us the strength to carry on, to make it through the bad stuff.

Chris: Seriously, when did you get so wise?

Robin: I learned it by watching you.

Chris: So now what?

Robin: Now we go out into The Wild. Let’s go.

Chris: Just like that?

Robin: You were expecting more?

Chris: From you, yes. Where’s the pomp and circumstance? The style? The dancing?

Robin: That’s all played out.

Chris: Well you’ve got to do something. This audience has come all this way and they need to see something special.

Robin: You’re right. I need something big. I could ride an elephant.

Chris: We don’t have the permits.

Robin: I could breathe fire.

Chris: Fire Marshall said no.

Robin: I could do the Moonwalk.

Chris: Michael Jackson’s estate would sue us.

Robin: Come on! You want something big and then you shoot down all my ideas.

Chris: All your ideas would have us wind up in court.

Robin: So riding around in a tank is out?

Chris: No military grade weaponry.

Robin: You’re really cramping my style.

Chris: Think small. Be simple. We want to go out with a flourish, but not wind up in an ambulance.

Robin: Wait, I’ve got it.

Chris: Really? You sure?

Robin: Trust me; this is the ‘it’ that I have got.

Chris: That didn’t make a lick of sense.

Robin: It doesn’t have to. Cue music.

The song ‘Danger Zone’ by Kenny Loggins begins to play.

Robin: Cue shades.

Chris and Robin put on cool-looking sunglasses.

Robin: Cue arsenal.

Chris and Robin pull out super-soakers, pumped, primed, and fully loaded.

Robin: Chris.

Chris: Yes Robin?

Robin: What time is it?

Chris: The little hand says it’s time to Rock and Roll!

The two of them proceed to charge offstage, through the audience, squirting everyone they can with the super-soakers (especially the adults).

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Chris and Robin Go Into The Wild Copyright © 2012 Charles B. French. All Rights Reserved.

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